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Thursday, September 11, 2003karate schnitzeli think i'm about to mature again. i don't normally get this feeling, i usually wake up one day and say "hey, so this is how life should look", but this time it's different. this time my new perspective hasn't come, i can just feel it coming, i feel like i'm just about to break the surface, where the sun can greet my eyes and shit will be ok again. maybe i'm kidding myself. i dunno.Today i was driving home and did something i haven't done for a while-i looked at the mountains. at first my reaction was the beauty of fall, how everything was turning, and the world was completing its cycle yet again. then i realized i live in new mexico, and that we don't have a "fall". pinon trees don't change. they were dead. all of them. enormous patches of brown pinon trees, they looked like gigantic tumors eating away at the mountains. i won't lie, i don't like new mexico. but nonetheless, it is my home. there was never very much green to begin with, but now...now all will be dead. what a shame. i'm making really good friends again. i had started slipping from them, but i think i'm beginning to get back on track. being single is fantastic, but all the same my sexual frustration levels are starting to peak. i need a fling. no real prospects, a couple fake ones that won't go anywhere. if anyone has any ideas let me know. i know you like my scary monkey up ^^top^^. starting to become choppy. not good. i have yet to find/start a script for speech. if david and i get together then we might actually work on Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, but you see, we're both so very lazy...when we do get together we rarely do anything, let alone work. i think if we somehow commit to it though, it will turn out very nice. english is kickin. tons to read, but i love everything so far. lemme see, i've got: Hamlet, Mrs. Dalloway, A Streetcar Named Desire, The Great Dialogues of Plato, Rebecca, Shadowland, and Shakespeare's Greatest Poems. Plus a novella and several short stories, and a couple scattered essays. And those are just the ones that i've already read. I'm reading three other books now, but fortunately i only have to take notes on one of them. Goddamn notes.
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